Ahhh, what a year it has been.
So many lovely things I could report on, and update. After all, i've been majorly slacking, yet every time I get on here I feel that way.
I am here for one purpose today, though. With a New Year, comes the reflection, the pats on the back and the kicks in the butt of all things the previous year brought me.
For the past few years I have changed my "New Year's Resolution" agenda and have stuck to a single word that helps me put into perspective my goals, aspirations, and focus for my new year. It's less messy, it helps me have a more attainable and realistic outlook for my upcoming year, and-- it's fun!
Last year my word was "Felicity". The "cause of happiness, and the source of being happy in the highest decree."
As you choose your new word for the year, the rule insists that you must report and reflect on the last one chosen.
How did I do? Did I live up to my promises?
Marriage has been the best, and happiest decision of my life. It has given me more felicity and comfort than i've possibly experienced in my whole 23 years of life. It makes me want to bottle it up, slap a label on it, and hand it out to anyone who'll take it!
Of course, having a partner who gently pushes to bring out the best in you sure helps in keeping and accomplishing Resolution vibes.
When i'd be at the grocery store grumbling about my day, Ben would remind me of the silver linings, grab my hand, and lead me into the produce aisle like we were headed off in the sunset.
I know I am very blessed, and I know it's probably really annoying to even say out loud, but being married to Ben is pure "Felicity".
Now, I know, what I must report on is did I, myself, Jessica, encompass and portray the word with justice?
To that i'd say, I did my very best, and had immense help and reminders from not just Ben, but all of the lovely people in my life.
That, i'd say that's all anyone can do.
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This annual dinner, amongst the chopsticks, I ended up choosing the word I tried to escape from the moment it came to me.
No matter how hard I tried, the simple, yet obnoxious virtue that I shy away from more every chance I get kept creeping up into my mind, and I knew I needed it to be my focus for this year.
Patience.
If you know me, you know this is not necessarily something I exhibit well. Hell, I basically just pretend it doesn't exist, and live my life accordingly. However, this last year has reminded me that no matter how many plans I construct for my life that don't turn out, or how many baked goods I burn with every good intention of them turning out perfectly-that I must learn the painstaking skill of
"being patient".
I had to really think about this one. "What does being Patient mean to me?" That I don't yell at stupid drivers on the road in my car, or that I keep my opinions of wrong doings to myself ?
No. That's a feat for another day.
However, there are ways that I can handle my life with more poise than pucker, and more resolve than reprimand.
I need to learn to be patient with my circumstances. I am not in control of my Eternal plan, the Lord is, and the quicker I realize that, the better off I will be.
I need to be patient with myself, and realize that I have imperfections.
That I will probably always be unhappy with how I look in certain pictures, and any amount of crossfit workouts will not solve that. Or, that for the time being I cannot conquer world peace, be a millionaire, and be the perfect wife all at once.
I need to be patient with who I am, and not be ashamed of it. I may always have less tact, and more confrontation. I may be sassy, hot headed, and anal about certain things--but I will love you with my whole heart, do my best to forgive and forget, and vow that everything I say will be censored with as many good intentions as I can muster.
I also need to learn to be patient with others, and not give up so easily on situations and people that I will never be able to control.
Overall, I need to take my life as it is given. Day by day, with a big of long term planning in between the fun Fro-Yo runs and movie nights.
"It never rains when you want it to, you humble me, Lord."-Norah Jones
A life without patience is no more for 2016. Bring it.
