The Wedding Week: Part 1 of the Merrill wedding adventures!

Oh, hello! 

It's been a hot minute, but I have a good reason. Planning a wedding, then getting married, then coming home from your Honeymoon to the Holidays is a pretty busy mashup. 

I have a lot to catch you up on..and by you I really mean my blog journal that I write basically so I can look back at my crazy bantering.

Well folks, I am now Mrs. Merrill. The thing that I never thought could happen to me, happened. I know that is so cliche to say, and I know half of you are rolling your eyes, because I would be had I read this a year ago.

---

Our wedding, and the events leading up to it were so wonderful. I had amazing friends and family that came from across state, from other states, and took work and school off just to help me make my day special. As most everyone knows, I love antiquing, old style clothing, and the whole look of Vintage anything. That became the Theme if you will of my wedding. 

My engagements were taken by my dear, and talented sister: Hayden Sizemore Lee. If you are looking for an affordable, up and coming photographer who can do pretty much any style of anything you'd ever want--she is your gal. 

Here's some snippets of my favorite shots: 

This was so fun, and they could not have turned out more perfect!! 

---

So...we started planning. I am grateful that we had a good amount of time to date before we were engaged. It made the transition into engagement, and marriage that much smoother. We learned how to effectively communicate, he taught me how to chill the heck out when I was loosing my cool (which was more often than not), and above anything else--we learned how to have fun together. 

No one can make me laugh like this witty, too smart for his own good at times, blue eyed boy.

Ahh--then came the blessed wedding week. 

I feel like any time leading up to the middle of that week before took ages. I thought the day would NEVER come! Some say it flies, but the time before did not for me. I was just too excited, and too impatient. 

It all started on the previous Wednesday:

I took the oppurtunity to receive my own Endowment in the Brigham City, Temple. I was not short on friends and family that helped make this day even more special than it already is. My sweet Grandma was my escort, and I was so grateful to have her at my side to share that sacred experience with me. Afterwards, I was recieved outside of the temple by my Mommy who rallied the group that followed me through (cause that's what she does best) and hosted us at the local favorite Maddox for dinner. 

Nothing compares to that experience. No words could adequately and sufficiently express my appreciation and love for that first time in the Lord's house. I guess that's on purpose though--so everyone can go and see for themselves. :)

Thursday came with much anticipation and excitement:  My bachelorette party.

My dear Toni G flew all the way from Ohio to be a part of my special day, and did not disappoint with her party planning. 

The first part of the day was a scheduled pampering from head to toe with my fellow Ohio'an sisters. Massages, hot bath soaks, pedicures, facials, unlimited sparking cider, and cozy fancy robes for 6 hours were just a few of my favorite things from this experience. 

These women are my soul, my light, and my happiness. I love them so much and was so grateful to share this amazing memory with them. 

The late afternoon into evening led us to dinner at The Union Grill in Ogden.

Look at all of those lovely ladies! How lucky am I?!

Following dinner, a hands on liquid paint class followed complete with party favors, lots of laughs, and way too many gifts by all of these ladies who spoiled me, too much! 

After dinner, we hop skipped, and jumped over to the theater to see our annual, anticipated favorite of  The Hunger Games: Mockinjay part 1. It was perfect fate that this movie came out the weekend of my wedding and that we had Toni G here to celebrate with us like always.

We ended the days festivities at Miss Aly's house. A favorite gathering place for all occasions, and a home away from home for always. 

A special thanks to Aly as well, who was Toni's right hand with making this night as spectacular as it was! Thanks Al! Also, thanks Hayd for helping as much as you did, as well!

And to everyone else who dedicated this night to me and our friendship! 

I have never felt so spoiled, loved, and treasured by so many great women. To say I am lucky and blessed would be understatements. 

---

Stay tuned for Part 2 of the wedding memory train!!!

Muah!

The "How we fell in Love" post..

Okay, I know it's been a while. 

Like, too long, a while. 

But guess what? There's a reason for that. 

I'm in love.

What? Right? Who knew? It's not like I haven't been blowing up social media with the cute blonde boy or anything.

I've been meaning to write the "How we met and fell in love" post for a while now. I know a lot of you have heard it (and let's be honest, probably anyone that ever reads this has) but I want to relive it a bit for myself, and our future children's selves. 

(woah, OUR future children. Yeah, I said it)

Benjamin was my anatomy tutor and TA (teacher's assistant) down in Brigham city.

Yeah, I know what you're all thinking, so get it out of your systems now. 

I, with many other students would make the 30ish minute trek down the canyon last spring semester twice a week to avoid taking the class at the University from the awful professor who teaches it up there.  

Little did I know, I'd be getting more than an Anatomy lesson. (heh heh)

Benjamin said I stood out to him from the very beginning. He remembered my rainbow headband I wore the first day he met me, and that I was the only girl in our Lab course that thanked him for holding the door open for us. He told me that he later wrote a note next to my name in his phone to remember my name that said; "rainbow headband, very friendly, cute smile"

The first memory that stuck with me from him was our first day in Lab. I wanted to color coordinate the bones on my lab sheet, and he had one of those 90's style pens that had the several different colors around the end of it, You know, the ones you could choose from 5 or so colors to click down and use. I remember thinking how cute and geeky it was that he had the pen, and how nerdy, sweet, and handsome to me he was. 

It took me several weeks to admit this to my carpool group, however. :)

Many early study sessions, hundreds of questions, and two tests in, Ben and I were talking in the hall after lab and before lecture one day. I had been griping to Ben about my recent test score, and was telling him how I thought my grade had been higher, blah blah.

In the middle of my sentence, Ben cuts me off and says "yeah, I am sorry about that. Hey, would you want to go on a date with  me sometime?"

I was flattered, shocked, and turning bright red. He had caught me so off guard. Despite my surprise, however, I found myself replying with a "Sure! I would love to!" really before I even realized it. 

(He later told me he didn't listen to a word I said during that conversation, and was just spending the time geting up the guts to finally ask me on a date)

A week or so later, Ben took me on our first date to the Mandarin in Bountiful. I think he wanted to impress me with how cool it was, and tried really hard to hide his slight disappointment when he found out I had been there several times. I still gave him cool points for picking it though, don't worry. 

It was a long first date, driving from Logan to Bountiful and back and all, and we covered a lot of ground. I remember how handsome he looked when he picked me up promptly, and how sweet he was to make sure my doors were always open, and chairs were always pulled out. At one point he even called me out for trying to open my own car door several times, and it caught me so off gaurd, it took me till he dropped me off to realize how genuine and kind it was. 

To be honest, i'd like to say that it was all history from there. That after our first date, we both fell madly in love with each other, and it was sunshine and roses.
That would be a lie. 

It took me longer to warm up to Ben. He wasn't the type of guy I usually dated. 

You know, nice. 

I let him chase me for a good month, but was always honest about how unsure and scared I was about getting into a relationship. 

 He was patient, I was honest, and eventually I let him sweep me off my feet.

And that he did. For my birthday, he hand made me these beautiful roses made with ribbon and wrote me the sweetest poem. Pretty daring seeing as how I still was pretty unsure about the whole thing. He didn't care though, he later shared with me that he wasn't gonna let me go, and was prepared to do anything to keep me around.
It worked.

But honestly, that was where I could pin point it really happening. That's where I let him in, and let him truly begin to show me how amazing he really was.

After that, the rest really is history. He  moved up to Logan (did I mention he'd drive 45 minutes both ways to help me study nearly every night, and yes, I really do mean study)
I got a good grade in Anatomy, and a boyfriend. A word I hadn't used in...well...a long time.

We spent all summer having adventures,
 helping each other through rough times,
 moving (3 times),
 meeting family,
introducing him to baseball games,
and falling in love.

I never thought this would happen to me, and I know what you're thinking, everyone always says that, but it's true.

I spent many a days after we started talking about marriage freaking out, until one day.
The day he quoted to me my New Year's blog post and the word I had chosen for my resolution word.

Trust.
"Trust me", he said. "Trust yourself. Trust that Heavenly Father knows what He's doing with us."
And, guess what?
I do.
I trust Him more than ever, and just like I committed to months ago,
I trust this boy that wants to make me his.
 I trust that he will love me forever,
I trust that I have made the best decision I have yet.

We are sealing the deal November 22nd of this year, and I can hardly wait to say yes to letting this incredible man be a part of my life for eternity.

I trust that this is the start of a really great next chapter in my book of life.

A full belly isn't always satisfying.

I have loved the great changes that have happened with my New Year.

I've studied harder, worked out more, ate better, talked to my family more and have kept up with good friends that are farther away than i'm used to.

However, along with this New Year has come some more life lessons it's time for me to learn. 

Who doesn't love those, right?

I've gotten to a point in my life where I feel like i'm outgrowing a lot of things. 

Certain TV shows i've watched (No, Snooki and Jwoww isn't one of them. Hold your judgements.)

"Parties" that entail freshmen girls and freshly RM'd boys.

Pants. (leggings are so much better I feel)

Diet Dr. Pepper...Diet Coke has taken it's place in my heart.

Procrastination. Okay, obviously it still happens, but honestly-it's not worth my stress anymore.

All of these things (in no certain order) used to play some sort of part in my life, whether I wanted them to, or didn't. This semester i've learned the art of "not doing what you don't want to do". 

I guess I should give some of this credit to people in my life who just seemingly give no thought or reaction to those around them. You know those people, so self absorbed in their own lives that they can't be bothered to actually think of how their actions would affect anyone but themselves?

Thank you for showing me that I don't need to be aware of anyone else but myself.

Okay, mild rant over...

But really there is some enlightenment from it.

I've gotten to the point where i've had to realize;

 if you aren't hungry, don't eat it. And, if it doesn't taste good, then really, really, just put it down and walk away.

Eating out of boredom is one of the easiest, and time cancelling things you could do for mild entertainment. For the most part, what you're eating still tastes okay when you aren't hungry. 

What you're eating on a full stomach is still going to reward you with a small form of satisfaction. 

However, the worst combination you could muster would be to get completely full, and then make yourself a steaming plate of liver and onions.

 (feel free to insert your own ill-desired food choice here)

It hit me a few weeks ago that I was doing just this. Not only was I eating whilst my belly was bulging from excess food, but I started partaking of  something like, smoked oysters on top of the button popping threat in my middle. 

I have found myself furthering my full belly eating things that I don't desire, and even more so-forcing myself to eat when I don't want anymore. 

In the past i'd allow myself to do this, and would end up watching myself figuratively throw up all of the crap i'd shoved down my gullet and regretting every second of it. Knowing that if I would have prevented myself from ever indulging, i'd be saving myself a lot of discomfort.

I think it's time to start being the person that focuses more on themselves. Not to the extent of those stated earlier, obviously, but to a point where I can be happy with my plate again. No more excess crap I don't need to eat. 

I guess what i'm trying to say here is, i'm in charge of me. I'm in charge of why i'm not happy, and how I can fix it.  I'm not going to allow others to force feed me things, or to partake of things that I don't want to. 

Good news is: they say the older you get-the wiser, too. I'd be stupid to let that be not the case for me. 

It's time that I stopped force feeding myself, 

and indulging when I want, how I want, and with what I want. 

Welcome 2014

Boy, has it been too long. What can I say, making school your number one priority, followed by work then that whole fitness thing, time sure does fly by. 

However, to be fair, I obviously could never discount the fact that a large amount of my time always goes to my loved family and friends.

Anyway, here goes the New Years blog post. Also, it will probably be combined with a few other things-seeing as how i've been slacking majorly on the blog.

My Christmas was great! It started out with me getting pretty dang sick with Influenza and I was out for a straight week. My poor roommates. However, they were so good to me and made sure I was taken care in the best way!
When I felt well enough to go back to work, I was welcomed by the night time slicing shift at Great Harvest. Basically we're so busy during Christmas that the bread needs to be sliced and baked all night instead of during the day because there's no time to do it with all of the customers. Needless to say, it was a fun time and Aly I got to hang out and lounge all day until work at night.  I loved it!

I love my family and friends. I am always overwhelmed by how truly blessed I am with the people I have in my life. I love the Holidays! You know, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas! It's like a whirlwind of happiness and excitement combined with all of your favorite people!

It's always kind of a bummer when Christmas Day night rolls around because you know that you'll have to wait 365 more days to see it's loveliness again.
Of course though, then we get New Years! :)

Growing up, New Years was just an excuse to stay up late. It then turned into a chance to find a cute boy to kiss at Midnight, and soon followed into a slightly stressful night that usually promised no date, and a list full of nearly unrealistic, or vast "resolutions" that I HAD to make sure I corrected or modified in the coming year.

I think it was about 3 years ago when I was entering New Years with a freshly broken heart, an uncertain path of where school would take me, and a very good friend that I had the opportunity to spend it with.
Toni had spent many Holidays away from home, and it baffled me. I couldn't imagine being away from my immediate family on Christmas Day. Yet, she always had the best attitude about it. That New Years, my attitude was not great. With my recent break up fresh on my mind, and my thoughts constantly running to him and his new girlfriend getting to kiss once that ball dropped, I was left with an empty feeling. I remember telling Toni that I didn't really even care if we did anything that night. I was perfectly okay with wallowing.

She did not let that happen, and we spent the night meeting new faces, linking up with old ones, and bringing in the New Year with smiles, sparkling cider, and for me;
Hope.

I think that was one of the first nights that I truly felt I had gained a big sister, and remember feeling so fortunate that she did get my butt out of the house, and made me realize that the pressures and expectations of New Years were only if I allowed them to be that.

Since then, Hayden, Grandma and I have taken up a new tradition. Complete of course with Mandarin's delicious sesame chicken and wontons-but mostly of simplicity.

Last year we sat at a little table and made a resolution word. One thing that encompassed much of what we wanted to modify, or fix for the next year.

Just one word.

I don't know if you remember my post last year about my word, and it being LOVE.

Almost always when reflecting of the year past, you tend to only highlight all of the things you could have done better, should have fixed, or needed to improve on.

However, upon reflection of my simple task to bring more LOVE into my life in all ways, I was left pleasantly satisfied.

Sure, Mr. right didn't come along and sweep me off my feet, and sure there were times where I was angry, sad, or defeated over this beautiful emotion. No, I wasn't perfect.
But overall-I am so grateful of all the ways I was able to practice this resolution! So happy that I was able to actually stick to one-ALL YEAR!


What's my word this year, you ask? Well i've done a lot of contemplating over this one, and even might have pulled out the old Thesauraus, but my heart kept coming back to one powerful, simple meaning, word.

TRUST. 

I have a knack for trying to control my life. I control it to the point that when it stops working out the way I want it to-I get discouraged and very frustrated, like I know we all do.

This year I am prepared to try harder to bring more TRUST into my every day life.

To trust myself with the opportunity to do what's best in my life.
To trust my family that they can now take care of themselves, and the constant stress and worry I feel over them can subside ever slightly.
To trust my friends, to always remember that they do love me, and even though I can be "rough around the edges" that i'm still me-and they love that.
To trust my body, that it will handle whatever I feel ready to throw at it to make it stronger and healthier.
To trust my testimony, that it will carry me through when even the closest of loved ones deny it. 
Furthermore-to trust the boy that one day does come along and tries to convince me that he does love me. I will trust that, and not doubt him, or myself.

And finally, to trust my Heavenly Father with His plan for me. To finally rip up the blue prints of my life written by an amateur, and let the true Architect of my life take control.

I am ready 2014-I trust that you'll treat me well. ;)
Bring it on, baby!

Oh, and I can't forget some of my favorites from 2013: