A full belly isn't always satisfying.

I have loved the great changes that have happened with my New Year.

I've studied harder, worked out more, ate better, talked to my family more and have kept up with good friends that are farther away than i'm used to.

However, along with this New Year has come some more life lessons it's time for me to learn. 

Who doesn't love those, right?

I've gotten to a point in my life where I feel like i'm outgrowing a lot of things. 

Certain TV shows i've watched (No, Snooki and Jwoww isn't one of them. Hold your judgements.)

"Parties" that entail freshmen girls and freshly RM'd boys.

Pants. (leggings are so much better I feel)

Diet Dr. Pepper...Diet Coke has taken it's place in my heart.

Procrastination. Okay, obviously it still happens, but honestly-it's not worth my stress anymore.

All of these things (in no certain order) used to play some sort of part in my life, whether I wanted them to, or didn't. This semester i've learned the art of "not doing what you don't want to do". 

I guess I should give some of this credit to people in my life who just seemingly give no thought or reaction to those around them. You know those people, so self absorbed in their own lives that they can't be bothered to actually think of how their actions would affect anyone but themselves?

Thank you for showing me that I don't need to be aware of anyone else but myself.

Okay, mild rant over...

But really there is some enlightenment from it.

I've gotten to the point where i've had to realize;

 if you aren't hungry, don't eat it. And, if it doesn't taste good, then really, really, just put it down and walk away.

Eating out of boredom is one of the easiest, and time cancelling things you could do for mild entertainment. For the most part, what you're eating still tastes okay when you aren't hungry. 

What you're eating on a full stomach is still going to reward you with a small form of satisfaction. 

However, the worst combination you could muster would be to get completely full, and then make yourself a steaming plate of liver and onions.

 (feel free to insert your own ill-desired food choice here)

It hit me a few weeks ago that I was doing just this. Not only was I eating whilst my belly was bulging from excess food, but I started partaking of  something like, smoked oysters on top of the button popping threat in my middle. 

I have found myself furthering my full belly eating things that I don't desire, and even more so-forcing myself to eat when I don't want anymore. 

In the past i'd allow myself to do this, and would end up watching myself figuratively throw up all of the crap i'd shoved down my gullet and regretting every second of it. Knowing that if I would have prevented myself from ever indulging, i'd be saving myself a lot of discomfort.

I think it's time to start being the person that focuses more on themselves. Not to the extent of those stated earlier, obviously, but to a point where I can be happy with my plate again. No more excess crap I don't need to eat. 

I guess what i'm trying to say here is, i'm in charge of me. I'm in charge of why i'm not happy, and how I can fix it.  I'm not going to allow others to force feed me things, or to partake of things that I don't want to. 

Good news is: they say the older you get-the wiser, too. I'd be stupid to let that be not the case for me. 

It's time that I stopped force feeding myself, 

and indulging when I want, how I want, and with what I want.