A blissful Monday eve.

I'm currently sitting in my room looking out my snowy window with some beautiful hymns as my background music.

 It occurred my how lovely life really can be today. We all have days where the world feels as if it may be ending. Heck, sometimes the world really is. 

However, there are those days where peace creeps in instead of chaos. Gratitude replaces grief, joy replaces jealousy, and love really does conquer all. 

Maybe it's the beautiful music, the cozy Snowy Sunday,  my morning beginning with worship,

or maybe, just maybe-i'm happy. 

Happy. 

Everyone's college experience is full of life lessons, life turmoil, and life happiness. These past few months have been just that.  Confusing, long, and dare say-dreaded. Some days have been unbearable, whilst others have been joyous, full of smiles and serenity. 

It's nice to just have a quiet, peaceful day to reflect on oneself. Today has been that day for me. 

To be honest, they have come more and more, and I think that they are supposed to be coming as often as they have been. 

 I think finally (it may be a stretch) but maybe finally, I am happy in my life. 

Yes, there's the day to day grumble, but honestly, it's never been  enough to override the New Years resolution i've made. 

L.O.V.E has crept it. Right under my nose. :) 

I wish you all a happy Sunday, and I hope to try and continue this attitude to everyone's (including mine) least favorite day of the week. 

I'm going to fill  mine with LOVE, I think. :)

A list.

Things I have decided during my first week off from school: 

1. I am OBSESSED with the nieniedialoues written by Stephanie Nielsen. I also read her book "Heaven is Here" and I fell in love and finished it within 3 days. 

2. Leo from the 90's hit show "Charmed" about three witches is fiiiiiine.

3. I am in love with Les Mis. But, I knew that the moment I was introduced.

4. Diet Dr. Pepper and Kettle Corn are my two main food groups. 

5. "Supernatural" has left me going to be with nightmares for the past week. It's a nightmare, literally. But I love it. 

6. I really enjoy cooking! Not to mention; i'm pretty dang good at it. Let me clarify-healthy cooking. Only because healthier cooking usually requires much less ingredients, and usually just involves steaming veggies, then blending them into a soup. HA. Regradless, I love it. 

7. I really am probably going to freeze up here. Seriously, like the warmest it's been all week is like 11 degrees.       

8. I am loving that my heat works over time on days like today. It is like 1 degree out there in that frozen nightmare. 

9. I really love my family. They are just so great and are all doing so well.

10. Taking time off of school doesn't mean i'm not progressing and learning everyday anyway. I love that I am finally starting to realize that.

Here's to fat bank accounts, lots of crafting, yummy healthy dinners, and trying not to re-kill my knee by gettin' my sweat on.

Ahhh, the productiveness that occurs by being seemingly unproductive. 

Who's foolin' who? 

Prologue.

I have to thank The Lumineers today for reminding me to keep my head up.

It's been a rough, and stressful couple of days. I made grades last semester to keep everything homeostasis in the Academics department, but found out just a few days ago-which is also just a few days before my financial aid was supposed to come through to pay my tuition- that indeed financial aid was NOT paying for it. They pulled back all of my money and informed me the weekend before the first day of Spring semester that I would be all on my own in paying for tuition this semester.

All I could think of was "wow, not again." I thought I was done with all of this crap? I thought I had everything under control! The stress was supposed to be gone!!

 How the heck was I supposed to come up with the better part of 2 grand by Monday, along with all of my other bills? Not to mention affording to feed myself.

Needless to say--I was pretty defeated.

 After a lot of advice from friends, family, and some serious reflecting; I've decided to take the semester off to work my butt off and save money.

This whole decision making thing keeps coming up in my life. And do you know what? I'm pretty much over it. 

This whole grown up thing?? Yeah. I'm quitting. 

The most frustrating thing is that I worked so hard this semester academically to make sure I had no problem going back this semester, and didn't even think about having any sort of problem anywhere else. 

As I took yesterday to fast a reflect, we had a super neat lesson in Sunday School about Knowledge. 

Maybe you're thinking; How perfect! This must have been such a help! 

Well, no. It wasn't. Actually, I left even more confused and torn about what I should do in regards to finances and school. However, there was one thing in it that stuck out most:

Progression of Knowledge does not just mean attending school. You need all sorts of progression to shape your every category of life. 

It's been so hard to swallow the fact that I am not able to do something I want to do. Since I can remember, I always was able to make things work. If I wanted it-I worked to get it. That's just how it was. 

However, I should have known that with all of the life lessons the Lord has been throwing at me this past year, that He has many more in store for me, and forcing a situation not written for me is going against His plan. 

Talk about Humble Pie. 

Geez, am I sick of the taste of that stuff. 

Anyway, I was having a hard core pity party today about all of it-when I turned on good ol' Spotify to the band the Lumineers. 

Slow it down, ... come back to bed
Rest your arms, and rest your legs
Don’t you frown when you’re feelin like that
Only love can dig you out of this

That's when it hit me. This is my time to do just that. Save my money and work hard of course, but to take this time to get to know my knew self. 

My self with L.O.V.E-in every category.

~~~

It's time too open a chapter of my life that I didn't write. 

And do you know what? I like to read stories i've never read before. 

Auld Lang Syne

Happy New Year!!

With the new year comes all of that pressure to write the huge long list of New Years resolutions that you look at maybe 2 months of the year, work on for about 5, and then they go in a drawer, or the back of your journal, and let's be honest--we kind of forget about them. 

Instead of doing that like i've done EVERY year, I decided to something different this year!

First: I wanted to reflect on the bad AND the good of my past year. My last post talked a bit more about this, but mostly I wanted to recognize every thing that happened, with no regrets! 

None of that "Oh but I gained weight!" or "Geez, I shouldn't have dated him."

I am grateful for every. single. thing. that happened to me last year, and i'm going to focus on that!

Second: Instead of a NYE list of to do's and to don't's, I decided to focus on a word. 

One word to shape my year around. One word to create my perfect year. 

Love. 

Fall completely in love with myself..

Further my love in my life..

Understand and work on feeling more love for my Savior and Father in Heaven and make my love for them my most important...

Love my family for all that they are, want to be, and will be...

and who knows? Maybe i'll find a little love for myself. :)

Ahhhh, much more attainable. 

I love that idea. 

Oh, and here's some of my favorite people from 2012! ;)