A full belly isn't always satisfying.

I have loved the great changes that have happened with my New Year.

I've studied harder, worked out more, ate better, talked to my family more and have kept up with good friends that are farther away than i'm used to.

However, along with this New Year has come some more life lessons it's time for me to learn. 

Who doesn't love those, right?

I've gotten to a point in my life where I feel like i'm outgrowing a lot of things. 

Certain TV shows i've watched (No, Snooki and Jwoww isn't one of them. Hold your judgements.)

"Parties" that entail freshmen girls and freshly RM'd boys.

Pants. (leggings are so much better I feel)

Diet Dr. Pepper...Diet Coke has taken it's place in my heart.

Procrastination. Okay, obviously it still happens, but honestly-it's not worth my stress anymore.

All of these things (in no certain order) used to play some sort of part in my life, whether I wanted them to, or didn't. This semester i've learned the art of "not doing what you don't want to do". 

I guess I should give some of this credit to people in my life who just seemingly give no thought or reaction to those around them. You know those people, so self absorbed in their own lives that they can't be bothered to actually think of how their actions would affect anyone but themselves?

Thank you for showing me that I don't need to be aware of anyone else but myself.

Okay, mild rant over...

But really there is some enlightenment from it.

I've gotten to the point where i've had to realize;

 if you aren't hungry, don't eat it. And, if it doesn't taste good, then really, really, just put it down and walk away.

Eating out of boredom is one of the easiest, and time cancelling things you could do for mild entertainment. For the most part, what you're eating still tastes okay when you aren't hungry. 

What you're eating on a full stomach is still going to reward you with a small form of satisfaction. 

However, the worst combination you could muster would be to get completely full, and then make yourself a steaming plate of liver and onions.

 (feel free to insert your own ill-desired food choice here)

It hit me a few weeks ago that I was doing just this. Not only was I eating whilst my belly was bulging from excess food, but I started partaking of  something like, smoked oysters on top of the button popping threat in my middle. 

I have found myself furthering my full belly eating things that I don't desire, and even more so-forcing myself to eat when I don't want anymore. 

In the past i'd allow myself to do this, and would end up watching myself figuratively throw up all of the crap i'd shoved down my gullet and regretting every second of it. Knowing that if I would have prevented myself from ever indulging, i'd be saving myself a lot of discomfort.

I think it's time to start being the person that focuses more on themselves. Not to the extent of those stated earlier, obviously, but to a point where I can be happy with my plate again. No more excess crap I don't need to eat. 

I guess what i'm trying to say here is, i'm in charge of me. I'm in charge of why i'm not happy, and how I can fix it.  I'm not going to allow others to force feed me things, or to partake of things that I don't want to. 

Good news is: they say the older you get-the wiser, too. I'd be stupid to let that be not the case for me. 

It's time that I stopped force feeding myself, 

and indulging when I want, how I want, and with what I want. 

Welcome 2014

Boy, has it been too long. What can I say, making school your number one priority, followed by work then that whole fitness thing, time sure does fly by. 

However, to be fair, I obviously could never discount the fact that a large amount of my time always goes to my loved family and friends.

Anyway, here goes the New Years blog post. Also, it will probably be combined with a few other things-seeing as how i've been slacking majorly on the blog.

My Christmas was great! It started out with me getting pretty dang sick with Influenza and I was out for a straight week. My poor roommates. However, they were so good to me and made sure I was taken care in the best way!
When I felt well enough to go back to work, I was welcomed by the night time slicing shift at Great Harvest. Basically we're so busy during Christmas that the bread needs to be sliced and baked all night instead of during the day because there's no time to do it with all of the customers. Needless to say, it was a fun time and Aly I got to hang out and lounge all day until work at night.  I loved it!

I love my family and friends. I am always overwhelmed by how truly blessed I am with the people I have in my life. I love the Holidays! You know, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas! It's like a whirlwind of happiness and excitement combined with all of your favorite people!

It's always kind of a bummer when Christmas Day night rolls around because you know that you'll have to wait 365 more days to see it's loveliness again.
Of course though, then we get New Years! :)

Growing up, New Years was just an excuse to stay up late. It then turned into a chance to find a cute boy to kiss at Midnight, and soon followed into a slightly stressful night that usually promised no date, and a list full of nearly unrealistic, or vast "resolutions" that I HAD to make sure I corrected or modified in the coming year.

I think it was about 3 years ago when I was entering New Years with a freshly broken heart, an uncertain path of where school would take me, and a very good friend that I had the opportunity to spend it with.
Toni had spent many Holidays away from home, and it baffled me. I couldn't imagine being away from my immediate family on Christmas Day. Yet, she always had the best attitude about it. That New Years, my attitude was not great. With my recent break up fresh on my mind, and my thoughts constantly running to him and his new girlfriend getting to kiss once that ball dropped, I was left with an empty feeling. I remember telling Toni that I didn't really even care if we did anything that night. I was perfectly okay with wallowing.

She did not let that happen, and we spent the night meeting new faces, linking up with old ones, and bringing in the New Year with smiles, sparkling cider, and for me;
Hope.

I think that was one of the first nights that I truly felt I had gained a big sister, and remember feeling so fortunate that she did get my butt out of the house, and made me realize that the pressures and expectations of New Years were only if I allowed them to be that.

Since then, Hayden, Grandma and I have taken up a new tradition. Complete of course with Mandarin's delicious sesame chicken and wontons-but mostly of simplicity.

Last year we sat at a little table and made a resolution word. One thing that encompassed much of what we wanted to modify, or fix for the next year.

Just one word.

I don't know if you remember my post last year about my word, and it being LOVE.

Almost always when reflecting of the year past, you tend to only highlight all of the things you could have done better, should have fixed, or needed to improve on.

However, upon reflection of my simple task to bring more LOVE into my life in all ways, I was left pleasantly satisfied.

Sure, Mr. right didn't come along and sweep me off my feet, and sure there were times where I was angry, sad, or defeated over this beautiful emotion. No, I wasn't perfect.
But overall-I am so grateful of all the ways I was able to practice this resolution! So happy that I was able to actually stick to one-ALL YEAR!


What's my word this year, you ask? Well i've done a lot of contemplating over this one, and even might have pulled out the old Thesauraus, but my heart kept coming back to one powerful, simple meaning, word.

TRUST. 

I have a knack for trying to control my life. I control it to the point that when it stops working out the way I want it to-I get discouraged and very frustrated, like I know we all do.

This year I am prepared to try harder to bring more TRUST into my every day life.

To trust myself with the opportunity to do what's best in my life.
To trust my family that they can now take care of themselves, and the constant stress and worry I feel over them can subside ever slightly.
To trust my friends, to always remember that they do love me, and even though I can be "rough around the edges" that i'm still me-and they love that.
To trust my body, that it will handle whatever I feel ready to throw at it to make it stronger and healthier.
To trust my testimony, that it will carry me through when even the closest of loved ones deny it. 
Furthermore-to trust the boy that one day does come along and tries to convince me that he does love me. I will trust that, and not doubt him, or myself.

And finally, to trust my Heavenly Father with His plan for me. To finally rip up the blue prints of my life written by an amateur, and let the true Architect of my life take control.

I am ready 2014-I trust that you'll treat me well. ;)
Bring it on, baby!

Oh, and I can't forget some of my favorites from 2013: