You Humble Me, Lord.

They call this time in our lives "The Decade of Decisions".

How true that is. Never before in my 20 years of life have I been faced with more decisions, let-downs, confusion, heart break, and set backs than in this last year of my life. 

I have been truly molded to what my Heavenly Father knows is the best shape I should be, and I have been humbled in more ways than I ever knew possible. 

And guess what? I am SO eternally grateful for these lessons. 

I sat today and just sort of reflected on the past few months of my life. Went through old photos, read old journal entries and blog posts, and I realized amongst all of the humbling that has gone on in my life, there are so many more of the blessings. 

I have been stressing pretty bad these past couple of weeks with finals and grades, and also making sure I meet specific requirements for school. 

It got to a point the other day that I was so frustrated with the seemingly bleak situation I had in front of me that I began to doubt myself. --

Why can't I get the grades I feel like I deserve? Why can't I find a boy to marry? Why can't I get rid of those last few pounds that seem cemented on? 

Why don't I have all of the answers I feel like I need, right now?

After what seemed like endless breakdowns, I finally did what I had needed to do all along; put it in my Heavenly Father's hands. This is a lesson that has been very hard for me to do my whole life. I've always wanted to be in control, and doing what I felt is best. Obviously, I don't know what that is, and the many humbling events that have taken place these past few months have been a reminder of just that.

The result came to me today when I logged on to look at my final grades from this semester. Not only had I been able to pass, but whole letter grades were different than I had expected. My GPA had been raised a good amount, leaving no more room for anxiety and doubt.

I bear testimony that the only reason this happened, was a direct result of my faith in my Heavenly Father. The feeling that overcame me as I looked at that transcript was directly from my Father in Heaven.

"I love you," he seemed to say. "I know you personally, and your desires are important to me. You deserve this, Jessica." 

Through that feeling, every other doubt that had been weighing on my mind was silenced. Of course He hears my prayers. How could He not know me? 

As I flicked past those pictures, journal entries, and blog posts today-I had no doubt in my mind that every experience, heartbreak, confusion, or let down that has affected me has been for a reason. 

There is no such thing as a coincidence. But do you know what there is such thing as?-

Our Heavenly Father's love for each and every one of us. 

Truth spoke in whispers will tear you apart

No matter how hard you resist it
It never rains when you want it to

You humble me Lord

-Norah Jones