Prologue.

I have to thank The Lumineers today for reminding me to keep my head up.

It's been a rough, and stressful couple of days. I made grades last semester to keep everything homeostasis in the Academics department, but found out just a few days ago-which is also just a few days before my financial aid was supposed to come through to pay my tuition- that indeed financial aid was NOT paying for it. They pulled back all of my money and informed me the weekend before the first day of Spring semester that I would be all on my own in paying for tuition this semester.

All I could think of was "wow, not again." I thought I was done with all of this crap? I thought I had everything under control! The stress was supposed to be gone!!

 How the heck was I supposed to come up with the better part of 2 grand by Monday, along with all of my other bills? Not to mention affording to feed myself.

Needless to say--I was pretty defeated.

 After a lot of advice from friends, family, and some serious reflecting; I've decided to take the semester off to work my butt off and save money.

This whole decision making thing keeps coming up in my life. And do you know what? I'm pretty much over it. 

This whole grown up thing?? Yeah. I'm quitting. 

The most frustrating thing is that I worked so hard this semester academically to make sure I had no problem going back this semester, and didn't even think about having any sort of problem anywhere else. 

As I took yesterday to fast a reflect, we had a super neat lesson in Sunday School about Knowledge. 

Maybe you're thinking; How perfect! This must have been such a help! 

Well, no. It wasn't. Actually, I left even more confused and torn about what I should do in regards to finances and school. However, there was one thing in it that stuck out most:

Progression of Knowledge does not just mean attending school. You need all sorts of progression to shape your every category of life. 

It's been so hard to swallow the fact that I am not able to do something I want to do. Since I can remember, I always was able to make things work. If I wanted it-I worked to get it. That's just how it was. 

However, I should have known that with all of the life lessons the Lord has been throwing at me this past year, that He has many more in store for me, and forcing a situation not written for me is going against His plan. 

Talk about Humble Pie. 

Geez, am I sick of the taste of that stuff. 

Anyway, I was having a hard core pity party today about all of it-when I turned on good ol' Spotify to the band the Lumineers. 

Slow it down, ... come back to bed
Rest your arms, and rest your legs
Don’t you frown when you’re feelin like that
Only love can dig you out of this

That's when it hit me. This is my time to do just that. Save my money and work hard of course, but to take this time to get to know my knew self. 

My self with L.O.V.E-in every category.

~~~

It's time too open a chapter of my life that I didn't write. 

And do you know what? I like to read stories i've never read before.