Amateur Wisdom for Wednesday.

So you know those days where you feel like life lessons are just falling from the sky and hitting you on the head?? 

Well, i've had one of those like..weeks. 

Don't get me wrong. I am so grateful for it. The nuggets of wisdom that have been thrown in my path have definitely caused me to really reflect on my life.

Today I had a really long talk with someone very close to me. In this discussion- things were pointed out to me that I never realized myself. Not all of them were good either. 

It was then that it hit me that without people in your life, whether they be a good influence, a bad influence, or sometimes just a pain in the butt-what they have to tell you and the advice they have to give is often very much worth listening to. 

This said person in my life has definitely been the source of some serious blow outs, hurt feelings, and anger-but in the end, love conquers all. 

 I know what some of you are thinking-and it's not who you're thinking. 

It says in my Patriarchal blessing that those closest to us can be responsible for some of the most abundant of joy -but it is these same people that can cause us some of the worst heart aches. 

I've realized through these people that sometimes we are mean't to have heartache. That without it-we wouldn't be able to as easily recognize the contrast. That without people in our lives to point out the bad, rag on the good, and bring us down-we wouldn't have the opportunity to be lifted right back up. Not to mention showing us how abundant our blessings really are- and we often just don't seem to recognize them. 

Probably now you're thinking: Weird. Mean't to have heartache? You've lost it Jess. 

But really, think about it. Without Christ suffering for us all (the heartache) He wouldn't have been able to show us His infinite love. (the blessing) 

These past few months have provided some pretty vast learning experiences for my young soul. One of which is just that. I am YOUNG. and my soul has A LOT of learning to do. Why would I want to rush it? Just like you can't cram for a test and remember the material an hour past it-the same is such in our own lives. You can't cram for life. Just because you see other people doing what you view as succeeding, doesn't mean they're not learning their own form of lessons. 

Side note: running a mile after you haven't in like...5 months is hard. 

But- we can all do hard things. :)

Oh, Monday.

Day 1 back=success!!

Turns out I only have one class Mon, Wed, Fri and it's an exercise class. Holla!! Oh, and Institue; so I guess two. 

My room is just about unpacked and decorated. 

I guess that I have a lot of clothes?? Who knew. 

It feels so good to be back up here. I just couldn't peel myself off of campus today. I found myself finding things that I could go do, just so I could stay up there. 

Some great friends and old neighbors came by today, so that was a win. 

We also went around and met all of our new neighbors last night. So far, so good. 

It's gonna be a good year, folks. Can't wait! :) 

Went to the new ward on Sunday, and the lessons were just hitting me like a ton of bricks. That Holy Ghost guy, yeah he knows what's up. 

With a new year comes plenty of apprehensions, lots of stress, and a good amount of fear. Not to mention there's a whole new set of boys you've got to impress, and the tools you've got to avoid. You've got classes and a social life to balance, and let's not forget a job to fit in there. Oh, and sleep. It's really easy to let things get out of hand, and start unwinding into a mess that you can't control.

We talked in Relief Society about how we can look at our trials as learning situations. We can complain and whine all we want- but not trusting that your trials are from the Lord is like not trusting in yourself-or your future. We don't really know what we need. We know what we want, and we know that we can break ourselves trying to make the situations work out, or we can just have faith that Heavenly Father knows what we NEED, and He's going to do everything He can to make sure we get it. 

DON'T COMPLAIN when life doesn't turn out the way WE think it should be going. Nothing drives away the spirit more than murmuring. 

They teach you in sports that the more criticism your delivered, the more you're yelled at, and the harder your coach is on you is a result of them seeing the athlete-or in this case-the person you are capable of. If the Lord didn't care about us, or didn't want us to be happy-He would leave us alone. We would have no trials whatsoever. 

But with a little rain comes a rainbow. Even if they're a little weak and brief. It's still worth the beauty.

So yeah, I had a lot of epiphany's this last weekend. I'm feelin' pretty good about what I learned, and i'm feeling really good about how I'm going to make this Semester. 

Good. I'm gonna make it good. 

Utah State, HEY Aggies all the way! Go Aggies, Go Aggies! HEY! HEY! HEY! 

Okay, got it out of my system. Happy Monday! :)

Rebuilding season

Well, the time has come folks. I move back up to Logan tomorrow.

Where the heck did Summer go? I swear I just moved home...time flies. 

I'm supposed to be packing today. Ask if me if i've made much of a dent into that process...

Yeah...no.

Although this summer flew past me without warning, as I look back on it-i'm reminded of all of the things I have learned. Last night I was talking with some good friends, and when it was my turn to do my own updating, the first thing that came to my mind was the phrase; "rebuilding season".

In sports, when a team gets a bunch of new players, or they gain a new coach, or something of this sort- they gain a phrase that we call in sports: "rebulding season". It's basically a glorified way of saying that the team is probably going to kind of really suck in the upcoming year, but it's because they're learning to work with their new players, coaches, and most of all, reshaping themselves as a team.

How is this any different than what we go through? Sure, most of the time we "rebuild" by ourselves and not really in the form of a team. But really, it's the same thing. We are our own team. Us and Heavenly Father.We have to be in the best shape possible to live our life. 

That's what this summer was all about for me. I had some new plays to learn, I had some polishing to do, and i'm still not done. You're never really done learning, growing, or perfecting that 

Swing-

or throw-

or...becoming the person you're going to be forever. 

'....And i'm learnin' who i've been, ain't who i've gotta be."

I've learned that there's "good in goodbye" for a reason. That I can't create my own future because it's already been created for me, and i'm simply here to do the best I can do to receive the amazing blessings promised to me. 

You want to know what's really cool? Heavenly Father put us here on the this earth to do one thing: live. Live to the best of our abilities-Live in the footsteps and example of Him.

Easy? no. Attainable? yes. 

Worth it in the end? I know so. 

A Dark Knight stole my heart

OOOOkayyy....So I have to jump on the band wagon and talk about The new Dark Knight movie. 

Amazing. Yet another shining example of good overcoming evil. The depth of that movie literally brought tears to my eyes. 

It may just be a silly hero movie, but maybe it's going to take just that to show us that one person can really make a difference in standing up for what they believe in. 

Even if it means fixing your broken back, crawling out of a hole and then taking on an army of bad guys with a bit of rust in your joints-it's the principle of the matter. Giving up your whole self to a cause in which you  believe in brings hope to even some of the lowest of low. 

Gosh. I just loved that movie. Oh, and let's not forget the eye candy we were able to enjoy. Always a bonus. 

To Good vs. Evil-- everywhere and always. 

Road Trip to Summer

Sometimes, life is really...crazy. I feel like we never take time for just ourselves. Europeans tell us "You're always going! You never take time to enjoy life! Whine and Dine yourselves!" 

It's true. I had a European tell me that once.

My point is, they're right. We don't. Especially when we're young. We're too busy trying to fit social protocols. Like;  when we need to go get married.

or, trying to hurry up and finish our degree. 

Maybe that's just me? Prolly not. 

What happened to living? 

This weekend, I got to do just that and drove out to Vernal to spend the weekend with a very good friend of mine. 

The drive was gorgeous. So peaceful, and scenic. Once I got there Chad didn't waste any time in showing me the sites. :) I turned off my phone, threw on some shorts, and off we went!

We hiked to some petroglyphs. (Indians are a big deal out there I guess) and then, because I didn't know this; we went and saw the DINOSAURS!!

Listen, this isn't your run of the mill, cutesy, let's dig up some plastic fossils in the sand pit (no offense Ogden). This is like, legitimately dinosaurs died here. There's a straight up HUGE park with allegedly a catrillion more dino's just buried in the rocks. Uber cool. 

THEN we hiked to some real life dino foot prints. (side note: YES! I hiked. I'm preforming a comeback, folks!) Let me just say that these footy prints were the real deal. And the lake was beautiful. We did some mild cliff jumping (well, me. Chad was a baby about it) and enjoyed the summer sun. 

Chad also took me on plenty of truck rides to see the sites of Vernal. Man, was there stuff to see! It was so pretty, and I couldn't help but stick my toes out the window, eat my sunflower seeds, and just enjoy the perfect summer moment. 

I can't believe we're almost to the end of it. I feel  like it just zoomed right past me. 

Can't forget the BBQ'n, bubblegum chewin', jam sesh'n, and hammock layin' events that followed. 

Perfect weekend.

In the midst of all of my summer haze, I got to thinkin' about my previously stated thought. If we all just took a little more time for ourselves and took in the world around us-I think we'd be surprised at how lucky we feel, happy we are, and content we become. 

Without even trying, I did a little healing this weekend. I healed my busy soul into a grateful one. I took my need for lists and stress and replaced them with bliss and relaxation. Throw in some good old fashioned fun, and you got yourself  what we call 

happiness folks. 

This is the last week before school. I plan to make the best of it, and then it's time to hit the books! (let's not forget the social agenda I have planned :))

Happy Sunday night everyone! 

Dealin' and stealin'--minus the stealing part.

Today i'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. 

Okay, if i'm being real-i've been feeling this way for the past like...3 weeks.   

Blah, right? 

Anyway, school is like less than 2 weeks away, and this is the first semester i've handled everything on my own. Financially anyway. Let me just tell you, even though you probably already know: Money is expensive. The other day, SURPRISE, Jessica needed all new tires put on her car. 

There went my rent payment for October. 

So today has consisted of me selling everything and anything I don't need/want. Let's get real--of course I still want these things, but I don't need them. 

Need.

Psh, who 'needs' that word. 

Anyway, my beautiful prom dresses that hold so many lovely memories, (and not to mention some serious money of their own) have been sold for books. 

I kind of need these books. Sucky.

So i've spent most of my day going through my memories and childhood I don't necessarily 'need' anymore, but sure as heck want, and have been selling them off to the highest bidder. 

Sad. Growing up blows. But one day, i'll have a very expensive piece of paper to show for all of this, and I know it will be worth it. 

That's what they tell you anyhow. 

On another note; I am very excited for school to start. It's been an emotional couple of days, and I wasn't quite sure that I would be returning to good ol' USU in the fall. 

However, after some serious thought, prayers, and chats with the loved ones--i've realized I can't keep myself away from that lovely Aggie Blue. 

I miss my old Logan towne. 

This semester holds a lot of promise for me. Anything really can be better than the last semester I shared with Mr. USU. Hopefully he can make it up to me this time around. Of course, I will be surely making some  well needed adjustments for a better Jess.

Here's to fresh starts, every few months or so. :)

Throwback for the day. Goodbye you lovely little thing. 

Friends=Family.

Recently i've been trying really hard to keep a journal. I've been doing pretty good actually, but I find my hand cramping, and my thoughts coming so much faster than I can write them down. 

Blogging, it's so great right? I don't want to be one of those people that are so steadfast upon it at first, and then it die down, so I'm not making any promises. Buuuut, imma gonna try. 

Last night I had the opportunity to spend the evening and received a priesthood blessing from my best friend and her Dad. 

I'm just gonna take a little excerpt here and say how amazing this family is. They are the consistent, loving house that you can always run to at 3 in the morning when you just can't take it anymore at your own. They are the ones that follow all of your boy drama and give you parental advice that you don't have to take, but do, because it's so good. 

Incredible people.

I just have to take this time to bear testimony that friends and people are placed into our lives for a reason. The Lord knows what He is doing. Even if sometimes they leave our lives with us broken hearten, it doesn't mean they weren't there for their time for a specific reason. 

Oh, and the fun part? We get to learn and grow and figure out that reason. Fun part? Nah. Maybe in a few more months. 

I love this quote;

I mean, if that doesn't just speak to your soul, I don't know what does. And come on, Disney never dissapoints.

I love it also because not only will they be able to make someone else happier, but we, being I, can make room for all of those wonderful people that were waiting for a spot to open up for them in my life.

 I've had the opportunity to meet a new group of friends this summer. It's been a little hard I must say. I'm not used to being the new kid. If i'm being totally honest, i'm actually just kind of used to running the show. However, it's really taught me quite a bit. 

For one; my comfort zone has expanded. It's not always bad to be uncomfortable, because uncomfortable sometimes turns into adaptive. And flexible. 

Anyway, I love my friends. They are my family in so many ways and they have gotten me through some of my very hardest times. 

I can't wait to be apart of their lives for a long long time. I hope they feel the same. :)

Fwef!!

So...here's the thing. I've been trying real hard to keep this whole blog thing a-goin'. Buuuuut guess what, this summer has flown by and guess what I have to show for it? An empty blog, a tired spirit, and a workaholic self. 

Gross, right?

 Anyway, to all of those who follow me (which i'm pretty sure is like, Emily) I'm back. And this time, I'm gonna try real hard to keep ya updated. 

This summer I have been engrossed in work. Two and a half jobs, many hours, and 3 different uniforms later; my summer has come to it's almost end. I am very grateful for the experience i've gained, the memories i've  made, and I guess the extra change in my pocketbook is nice as well. 

Needless to say, I am ready to move back home. And by home, I mean my Logan. I miss that good ol' Logan town and It's Logan ways. Not to say that being in my real home hasn't been grand, because is has. There's just something to be said about a roll down Old Main, a kiss on the A, and a bagel in the hub between classes. That, my friends, is my home. For now.

I can't go without saying however, that I have had a good summer. I've met some great new friends, and have had some great times. :)  
Some old, some new. That's the recipe to life. 

*This summer I enjoyed a slide down the best of what Park City has to offer. 
*I survived an almost Ghost attack, thanks to some priceless spirit beads.
*I got to experience Salt Lake's farmer's market with a great new friend.


Most of all, however, i've had a lot of time to reflect on myself, heal a bit of a broken heart, a torn up knee, and most of all, strengthen my relationship with my Heavenly Father.  

By all means, I am  no where close to perfect. I still have a lot left to learn, accomplish, and experience, but each day is a step closer, each friend is another beloved soul I welcome into my life, and each laugh and tear is to shape me into who I will someday become. 

Anyway, here's to a fresh blog, a new school year, and to many memories to come. 

With the old, and the new. :)